Mommy Switzerland

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. ~ Billy Connolly

Those of you who’ve been around for a while know that I have zero patience for the Mommy Wars. ZEE. RO. I’ve written about it twice (here and here), and I’m sure I’ve alluded to it many other times. Women bullying other women — grown women — over making different parenting choices is one of the stupidest things I can think of. I keep thinking, “Why can’t we all just agree that being a parent is hard, and that we’re all doing the best we can? Why do some people have to hurl abuse at people who breastfeed too long/don’t breastfeed/stay at home/go back to work/use cloth diapers/use disposable diapers/co-sleep/crib sleep/WHATEVER? Bitch, please.” It doesn’t even make sense to me.

I mean, yeah, I can be a judgmental a**hole sometimes. I’ve put a lot of thought into my parenting decisions, and I take them seriously. Sometimes, when I see another parent feeding their kid Cheetos and purple ‘juice’, I think nasty head-thoughts. But I try really hard to catch myself before all my a**holery comes out of my mouth, and I remind myself that I am not a judge, or a jury, or in any way threatened by parents who make other choices than mine. I bitch slap my judgmental a**hole self and put her back into the dark corner of my mind where she usually lurks, muttering to herself about being ignored.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner!

So I found this page called The Mom Pledge, by means of this open letter to moms, where bloggers and other internet-savvy women are banding together against the bullies of the Mommy Wars. In order to participate, I have to pledge:

  • I am a proud to be a mom. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my online activities. I can lead by example.
  • I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, “right” way to be a good mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.
  • I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.
  • I stand up against cyber bullying. My online space reflects who I am and what I believe in. I will not tolerate comments that are defamatory, hateful or threatening.
  • I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks with no mention or response. I can take control.
  • I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.
  • I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.

I do so pledge. In doing so, I have officially become a citizen of Mommy-Switzerland. My house is being renamed Geneva, and to get inside you must speak at least three languages.

I’m expecting one of these guys to show up at my door any day now. (Photo by Greatpatton)

I encourage you to also join this League of Mommies (see what I did there?) by taking the pledge, joining the community, and (if applicable) adding their button to your blog. Let’s make a stand against bullying. We, the parents, are the grown-ups, and it’s up to us to stop acting like children.

************************************************************************

On a MUCH lighter note, I’ve been given two more awards! Yay!

The first is The Illuminating Blogger award, given to me by the intimidatingly talented Brigitte of Brigitte’s Banter. You want a blog that’s ACTUALLY illuminating, inspiring, and downright funny? Click on that there link, my friend.

Thank you, Brigitte, for this award! It’s not one I ever expected to get, since I don’t think of myself as particularly illuminating, unless you find things like poop, bad poetry, and drinking too much to be really eye-opening. I am truly honored by this, and I hope that you’ll continue to find in my writing something Illuminating!

I’ve also been given the Beautiful Blogger Award, by the lovely poet and all-around clever fella Merlinspielen. Aside from leaving razor-sharp witty comments on humor blogs, Merlinspielen writes some fantastic poetry — here’s a recent one that I particularly enjoyed, but you should definitely delve into his archives (hmm, there might be a double-entendre there) to see all of his stuff (and another one! I’m on a roll).

Don’t worry, he gave me the award for my writing — this was before the post about my breasts. Thank you, Merlinspielen, for this award. It’s another one that I never expected to come my way, but I’m so glad that you find beauty in what I spew write on the interwebz. You’re awesometastic.

For both of these awards, I’m supposed to nominate five other bloggers, but I’m going to break that rule. Rather than spending the next hour combing through my reader for ten worthy folks (how to narrow it down?) who don’t already have these awards, I’m just going to give both of them to one person: Bri DeRosa of Red, Round, or Green. She writes Beautifully and Illuminatingly about food, family, and all the issues surrounding those two things. I enjoy her blog greatly, even as a non-cook, though I do have to wonder why she never comes to my house to make my lunch. THAT WOULD BE EXCELLENT. Maybe I should make that a requirement to accept the awards … nah. She deserves them, even if her mad cooking skills make me look like a schmuck. Congratulations, Bri!

31 responses to “Mommy Switzerland

  1. Fish Out of Water

    Good stuff that Mom Pledge! I shall check that out. Congrats on the awards. :-)

  2. Your discussions about poop, bad poetry and drinking too much are inspiring to me and so I believe you deserve such recognition. Much love.

  3. Hey I speak three languages! So does that mean I can come to new Geneva? Cause I will but only if Bri DeRosa of Red, Round, or Green is there providing lunch. :)
    Just to clarify Java, Fortran and C++ do count as languages for travel purposes – don’t they?

  4. KV, I’m loving the new look of your blog. I’m not a Mom but all of these AWESOME points of your pledge are wonderful and can be applied to any and everything. Your poetry is not bad — it’s great and creative (like you), your poop jokes are hilarious and you deserve any and all awards and drinking some fine wine or otherwise is not a bad thing. :). Bullying is bad anytime anywhere.

    You’re very, very kind for saying all those wonderful things and I so appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. :D

    • It’s extremely generous to say that about my poetry. EXTREMELY generous. I know my talents, and writing serious poetry is not one of them. Maybe I should try my hand at limericks, though? How’s this: “I once knew a blogger whose wit/ In her prose was as sharp as you’ll git/ But for poetry fine/ She just didn’t have time/ And so all of her verses are shit.”

  5. This post is full of so much awesome! I’m thrilled you have found our community! Thank you for taking The Mom Pledge and helping spread the word about our mission.

    • I’m glad I found you all as well! Though don’t get too excited about me spreading the word. My readership is … let’s call it ‘elite’.

      • LOL! Hasn’t anyone ever told you size doesn’t matter? ;) Are you on the Twitter? I’d love to follow you there…

      • I’m not on Twitter yet, I’ve been working on my Facebook page … though I am thinking of trying Twitter sooner or later.

  6. Pingback: I’m Taking The Pledge « lazyhippiemama

  7. Word to the mother! Cause no mommy judges another mommy as harshly as we judge ourselves. We really don’t need someone else to help in that area. I won’t judge you…unless you sell your baby for a bag of crack, in which case I might judge you just a little.

  8. I never thought of it this way, but yes, these judgmental mothers are bullies in essence. My sister has a four and one year old so though I’m not a mother, I’m interested in these dialogues. Congratulations on your awards!

    • Thank you! I love that there’s an organized group of moms who are taking a stand against all the “Are You Mom Enough” idiocy. I also like that being part of the group will help to provide accountability, so that I don’t fall into behaving in a way that I condemn. It’s all done in the name of keeping myself from turning into an a**hole.

  9. The Mommy Wars make me cringe, and I’m not even a mother. So I salute you for taking a stand. Right on. Except that unless pig latin and jibberish count as languages, I don’t speak 3 of them. Also, mazel tov on your awards, and I love the new look of your blog!

  10. Oh my goodness, you are SO sweet! I love you one skillion times and am sending you mental lunches of awesomeness. Plus brownies, because EVERYBODY loves brownies.

  11. Love the pledge! Now I am an actual parenting expert who is entitled to judge parents. But that’s because I don’t have any kids. Ha! Honestly, though, I will never understand why women feel the need to tear one another down.

    • Yeah, I knew a whole lot more about parenting before I had kids. Oh well. I think women tear each other down because we’re so insecure about our own decisions. If someone else made a different decision, and it’s working for her, then maybe ours was wrong, or not as important as we thought, and we feel threatened by that. So I’m trying to separate myself from that mindset.

  12. Dear Kathy V,
    I thought I was already following you. But then I saw a comment on Fathead Follies and realized I wasn’t. Voodoo math or something. Anyway, now I’m following you, so look out. =p
    Stacie

  13. Pingback: How The Fairy Conquered The Troll (Tales From The Mommy Wars) | Don't Forget to Feed the Baby

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