I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. ~ Billy Connolly
Those of you who’ve been around for a while know that I have zero patience for the Mommy Wars. ZEE. RO. I’ve written about it twice (here and here), and I’m sure I’ve alluded to it many other times. Women bullying other women — grown women — over making different parenting choices is one of the stupidest things I can think of. I keep thinking, “Why can’t we all just agree that being a parent is hard, and that we’re all doing the best we can? Why do some people have to hurl abuse at people who breastfeed too long/don’t breastfeed/stay at home/go back to work/use cloth diapers/use disposable diapers/co-sleep/crib sleep/WHATEVER? Bitch, please.” It doesn’t even make sense to me.
I mean, yeah, I can be a judgmental a**hole sometimes. I’ve put a lot of thought into my parenting decisions, and I take them seriously. Sometimes, when I see another parent feeding their kid Cheetos and purple ‘juice’, I think nasty head-thoughts. But I try really hard to catch myself before all my a**holery comes out of my mouth, and I remind myself that I am not a judge, or a jury, or in any way threatened by parents who make other choices than mine. I bitch slap my judgmental a**hole self and put her back into the dark corner of my mind where she usually lurks, muttering to herself about being ignored.
So I found this page called The Mom Pledge, by means of this open letter to moms, where bloggers and other internet-savvy women are banding together against the bullies of the Mommy Wars. In order to participate, I have to pledge:
- I am a proud to be a mom. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my online activities. I can lead by example.
- I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, “right” way to be a good mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.
- I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.
- I stand up against cyber bullying. My online space reflects who I am and what I believe in. I will not tolerate comments that are defamatory, hateful or threatening.
- I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks with no mention or response. I can take control.
- I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.
- I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.
I do so pledge. In doing so, I have officially become a citizen of Mommy-Switzerland. My house is being renamed Geneva, and to get inside you must speak at least three languages.
I encourage you to also join this League of Mommies (see what I did there?) by taking the pledge, joining the community, and (if applicable) adding their button to your blog. Let’s make a stand against bullying. We, the parents, are the grown-ups, and it’s up to us to stop acting like children.
On a MUCH lighter note, I’ve been given two more awards! Yay!
The first is The Illuminating Blogger award, given to me by the intimidatingly talented Brigitte of Brigitte’s Banter. You want a blog that’s ACTUALLY illuminating, inspiring, and downright funny? Click on that there link, my friend.
Thank you, Brigitte, for this award! It’s not one I ever expected to get, since I don’t think of myself as particularly illuminating, unless you find things like poop, bad poetry, and drinking too much to be really eye-opening. I am truly honored by this, and I hope that you’ll continue to find in my writing something Illuminating!
I’ve also been given the Beautiful Blogger Award, by the lovely poet and all-around clever fella Merlinspielen. Aside from leaving razor-sharp witty comments on humor blogs, Merlinspielen writes some fantastic poetry — here’s a recent one that I particularly enjoyed, but you should definitely delve into his archives (hmm, there might be a double-entendre there) to see all of his stuff (and another one! I’m on a roll).
Don’t worry, he gave me the award for my writing — this was before the post about my breasts. Thank you, Merlinspielen, for this award. It’s another one that I never expected to come my way, but I’m so glad that you find beauty in what I
spew write on the interwebz. You’re awesometastic.
For both of these awards, I’m supposed to nominate five other bloggers, but I’m going to break that rule. Rather than spending the next hour combing through my reader for ten worthy folks (how to narrow it down?) who don’t already have these awards, I’m just going to give both of them to one person: Bri DeRosa of Red, Round, or Green. She writes Beautifully and Illuminatingly about food, family, and all the issues surrounding those two things. I enjoy her blog greatly, even as a non-cook, though I do have to wonder why she never comes to my house to make my lunch. THAT WOULD BE EXCELLENT. Maybe I should make that a requirement to accept the awards … nah. She deserves them, even if her mad cooking skills make me look like a schmuck. Congratulations, Bri!