No, I Didn’t Give The Baby Wine

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake. ~ Mitch Hedberg

Baby’s birthday party yesterday went off without a hitch. Well, without any major hitches, anyway — yeah, the weather didn’t completely cooperate, and my mother-in-law had to make a last minute run to the store to get soda, due to the fact that I had been so focused on beer and wine that I had COMPLETELY forgotten that there are people in the world who don’t drink, and that I’m related to some of them.

BUT. Beer and wine were drunk (though we have lots of leftovers — who’s up for a random mid-week drink-fest? I know I am!) Cupcakes were consumed. Baby decided that he’s not so much a fan of cupcakes (a fact that makes this Mama pretty happy, lemme tell ya). Presents were opened, chewed on, flung around, and tossed aside. It was a blast.

So now that the birthday has happened, and Baby is officially a Big Kid (not really, he’s still pretty tiny, but this is what we tell him), my little man needs a new blog name. I polled my readers (all twelve of you — an elite group!) and came up with a list of suggestions. Here are my top five favorites:

Monkey

Destructo

Sausage

Potato

Boychild

Aaaaaaand … drum roll, please … the winner is …

Sausage.

Sausage in his birthday outfit!

Thanks to Dotty Headbanger of the hilarious Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® for my dear little Sausage’s new name! Dotty, you win … um … my gratitude? A crumpled Star Wars napkin with smudges of icing on? A dust bunny the size of a schnauzer? Sigh. I’ve got nothing. Hopefully, you will be pleased at having been chosen, and at getting upwards of one whole hit from my having linked to you. Huzzah!

And since this did at least start out as a food blog (no matter what direction it has since gone in), I want to share with you the wonderful recipe I used for our birthday cupcakes yesterday. Many thanks to Cauldrons and Cupcakes for this recipe! Click here for the original recipe — a lovely, cake-y banana cake with butter frosting, very conveniently noted in both metric measurements and our backward provincial American ones. I adapted it a little to use ingredients that I already had, rather than purchasing new things just for one recipe, and I also adjusted it to be cupcakes rather than a loaf cake.

CUPCAKES!

Cupcake Ingredients:

1 stick of unsalted butter

3/4 cup of sugar

2 eggs

3 very ripe bananas

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1 heaped teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

Technique:

Preheat your oven to 350°F. Line a cupcake pan with those ruffly cupcake papers. Or you could grease and flour all those little cups, but seriously, who wants to do that?

Cream the butter and sugar together (here’s a link that will tell you what that means and how to do it — I had no idea). Use the electric mixer, because again, we are not masochists (unless we are, in which case, you know, go for it). Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.

Peel the bananas and mash them in a bowl with the vanilla.  Dump this into the butter mixture and use the beaters to combine well.

Sift the flour, baking powder, and baking soda into the bowl with the banana and butter mixture and use a spoon to gently combine.  Do not beat, just fold through.

Spoon the batter into the cupcake cups (really now, what are those things called? They must have a real name, right?)

Bake for 25 minutes, then check for done-ness with a toothpick. If they’re not done, keep cooking in five minute increments until they are. I used two different pans, and the cupcakes in one were done after 25 minutes, while the others took five minutes longer.

Cool in the pan.

Frosting Ingredients:

1 stick of unsalted butter

1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1 tablespoon milk

1 1/4 teaspoon cocoa powder

Technique:

Beat the butter until soft and creamy.  Gradually add the powdered sugar (seriously, do it gradually, I screwed up and added it all at once and it made everything much more difficult) and the cocoa, adding the milk to get a smooth consistency. Taste it to see if you want more cocoa. Then taste some more, to make sure it’s right. Then lick the beaters. IT WILL BE DELICIOUS. MAKE SURE THAT YOU LEAVE SOME FOR THE CUPCAKES.

Make sure that your cupcakes are cool before you frost them. Mmmm, cupcake-y wonderfulness! A nice Moscato D’Asti makes an excellent pairing. After all, it’s not a children’s birthday party if the adults aren’t all slightly hammered, is it?

The perfect cupcake wine! (Photo by Glen MacLarty)

What are your favorite birthday party treats?

33 responses to “No, I Didn’t Give The Baby Wine

  1. Sausage rolls. Have to have sausage rolls at a party. With ketchup.

    • Yum! It does put a slightly different spin on my naming him Sausage, though. Ooh! A whole sausage-themed party! If we can avoid the implication of cannibalism, it could be AWESOME!

      • Have to make it the -right- sausages, though. Just ask Dotty-the-cumberland-sausage-addict! 😉 Hiya, btw! Yay for finding more people with an awesomely snarky and smart-arsed sense of humor…figures it’d be Dotty that’d lead me here. Toss little Sausage a cuddle for me…just don’t tell him it’s from a total stranger, (and believe me, stranger than most!) might give the poor lil’guy a complex or something. 😉

        KC & Co.

      • I will give him many smooches and tell him that they’re all from his internet aunts and uncles. He’ll feel very loved, like there is a whole village of invisible people looking out for him. Because that’s not strange AT ALL.

      • *giggles helplessly* Not fair to do that to someone who’s going on 72-ish hours awake…not to mention heavily medicated with much happy-pills (not that I need them or anything… >;< ) I can tell I'm going to have fun around here. Like I told Dotty, if I get annoying just tell me to shut up, I generally listen…or go off and have a good pout, which has basically the same effect, so either way. 😉

      • You should get some sleep. I know, I’m a mom. And you should eat your vegetables and make your bed and do your homework. And while you do all those things, I will hide in a closet and wash down my vicodin with vodka.

      • Mine is Xanax and SoCo 100, but hey, to each his own, right? Also, can I borrow your closet? I’m fresh out at the moment. I promise to wash it off before I return it, honest!

      • Anything that leads to me having somebody else clean my closet is okay by me!

      • Yay! Now where did I leave that darn teleporter ring again? Shite, that’s right, it’s on the occasional table. When it shows up again I’ll grab it and be right there. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Dotty Headbanger – Namer Of Babies « Notes From A She-Hermit ©™®

  3. Dear Kathy,

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🙂
    Thank you so much for choosing my name. I am SO happy I’ve done a post but I don’t know how to do pings so I’ll try to do a link instead

    http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/dotty-headbanger-namer-of-babies/

    Love Dotty xxx

    P.S. Why is Sausage wearing a green tutu? Is it an American thing?

    • Dear Dotty,

      It is an American tradition that boy children should be dressed as bizarrely as possible on their first birthdays. This is thought to frighten away demons and closet-monkeys.

      Also, I know that once he starts to have opinions about what he wears, I am unlikely to be able to get him into tutus and fairy wings, so I have to take advantage of his current state of innocence.

      Sausage would dearly love your gift. He would chew it into little green shreds and then cry when I took it away. This would make you the cool grown-up person, and me a mean mean meany. You win AGAIN!

      Love,
      Kathy

  4. Hey, at least my name made the shortlist!! WOOHOO!! Happy Birthday Sausage!!!!

    • All the names were great! He came awfully close to being Heathen. It still may come out under certain very specific circumstances. Sausage works all the time, though, and it’s pretty effective if I were to threaten to eat him. Thanks for playing my little game!

  5. Thank you. YOu and Dotty may have saved my life tonight.

    • Hooray! That makes me happy. Since you’re alive, you should really make those cupcakes I recommended. They may save your life as well, especially if you’re dying from a severe lack of delicious.

      • Hi Kathy,

        Sadly (or not?) I am dieting – no cupcakes. Smaller jeans sizes are every bit as delicious. Your brand of parenting surpasses even my high bar for silliness – so congrats, I must now follow your blog. If you scroll down on my page, to one of my 30 Day Challenges, you will see a birth announcement. We nickname our babies VERY early as well.

        Hugs!

      • I’m pretty sure that birthday cupcakes don’t have calories. Broken cookies don’t, either. But I could have made those rules up in order to justify eating things that would otherwise contribute to my love handles. Thanks for following!

  6. Hi Kathy! Belated happy birthday to Sausage! Looks like you had so much fun and the cupcakes look yummy. Now I’m craving for cupcakes! Thanks for visiting my blog and it’s so nice to meet you. 🙂

  7. Hi Kathy! Belated happy birthday to sausage! Looks like you had so much fun and the cupcakes look yummy. Now I’m craving for cupcakes. Thanks for visiting my blog and it’s so nice to meet you! 🙂

  8. Even though I would have enjoyed Destructo, I guess you should wait until he’s actually destructive enough to earn the name, and Sausage is a good ‘un. Mazel tov!

    • Destructo is SUCH a great name! I think I’ll still use it under very specific circumstances, like when he’s breaking tchotchkes, or furniture, or my heart. Right now, sitting on the floor cooing at the cat, he seems more like a Sausage. Thanks for playing!

  9. Ooh, those cupcakes look wonderful. I love banana baked goods. I once made a banana cake for my own birthday. People thought I was crazy–who ever heard of a banana cake? But then they tasted it. Delicious! I’ll have to give those cupcakes a try. 🙂

    • Over at the original recipe they also give variations on the flavorings that you can add to the frosting, if you do try it. I chose cocoa because I thought it would be more popular with the babies, but coffee flavored icing sure does look worth a try!

      • I’m a boring vanilla frosting fan myself, although I bet the cocoa addition would be a nice flavor with the bananas.

  10. “Potatoe the destructo sausage” is also a really good name. Just saying…

    • That is true. It also sounds like a delicious dinner that will kill you if you eat it too often. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

  11. Happy Birthday to sausage! Love the outfit and the cupcakes look yummy….cupcakes are my favorite treat!

  12. My last name is Moscato. How kind of you to take one for the team with those cupcakes 😉

  13. Pingback: Very Important Business! « Don't Forget to Feed the Baby

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