So must the writer, whose productions should Take with the vulgar, be of vulgar mould. ~ Edmund Waller
In my last post, I casually used the word douchenozzle. For some reason, apparently completely unfounded, I believed that everyone used variations on the word douche, and that douchenozzle might elicit a few chuckles, but not much interest otherwise.
Well, I stand corrected. Obviously, most people have better things to do with their time than to sit around thinking up insults that include the word douche.
So I’ve decided to give you, my beloved followers, exclusive access to my doucheopedia, that you may expand your vocabulary of hilarious insults without actually having to spend time thinking them up. You’re welcome.
noun 1. a jet or current of water, sometimes with a dissolved medicating or cleansing agent, applied to a body part, organ, or cavity for medicinal or hygienic purposes. 2. the application of such a jet. 3. an instrument, as a syringe, for administering it. 4.a bath administered by such a jet. 5. Slang: Vulgar. douche bag. A contemptible or despicable person.
Obviously, for the sake of my insults, we’re working primarily with the Slang: Vulgar usage. Yay!
Now, I can’t take credit for most of these. Many are in common use among those, like me, who are vulgar. Some are pop culture references. Others, the best ones, were created in conjunction with my friend A, who has a particularly keen mind for such things.*
*To explain: A and I had a rather lengthy text exchange one day in which we went back and forth, as fast as we could, calling each other douche-based names, because that’s how my friendships roll. Most of these are the result of that exchange.
Douchebag (the gold standard)
Douchey Potter and the Goblet of Douche
Douchey Jackson and the Lightning Douche