Tag Archives: pirates

Writer’s Block and Piracy

I have a pirate fetish – I just always thought eye patches were sexy. ~ Michelle Branch

Today I’m suffering from the same writer’s block wordy-blahs that seem to be affecting so many bloggers right now. Is it the weather? Does this happen every summer? I don’t know.

Anyway, I’ve decided to give you an anecdote today, rather than my usual, full-on, word-spew of a post.

Lately, when Sausage nurses, he insists on having something to hold and fidget with. He won’t nurse if he doesn’t have something in his hands to investigate while he does so, and my breasts just aren’t that interesting anymore. Ho hum.

For the past couple of days, he’s been pretty happy with a pair of sunglasses that I had on my nightstand. They’re cheap, plastic sunglasses, with burgundy frames and dark, rose-tinted lenses (why yes, I do feel better about the world when I wear them!) So I don’t mind him playing with them, since I don’t wear them much, and I’m not out anything if he breaks them.

Today I made the mistake of showing him that they can be worn. On my face.

He loooooooooooves it when I wear his toys on my face.

So now he won’t nurse unless I wear the sunglasses while we nurse. Which makes me feel a little like I’m purposefully raising a douche.

(From weknowmemes.com)

It’s a double-edged sword, too, because when I’m wearing them, he’s so happy that rather than nursing well he’s looking at my face and grinning.

And last time we nursed, about 45 minutes ago, Sausage discovered that he could take the glasses off of my face. And put them back on again.

Now I don’t think we’re going to get any nursing done. Time to wean?

Maybe. If he doesn’t poke my eye out first.

If he does, you can count on me dressing and talking like a pirate all the way until that eye is healed.

Anne Bonney, who couldn’t have been a real pirate because she didn’t have an eye patch. I would be a REAL pirate.

Arrgghh, matey.